"This is what I am here for so this is what I will do" - cycling holiday in Somerset / Devon / Dorset

Cycling past Stourhead
Gardens, Wiltshire
in May

Two or three times a year I like to hire a cottage, throw my bike in the back of the car and head off to the West Country: to Somerset, Devon or Dorset - or all three. I find it therapeutic - to truly 'get away from it all', cycling around little country lanes miles from anywhere - 'Far from the madding crowd', literally. Or far from the cat's cradle that my brain has been tangled into over the past few years, resulting in Chronic or Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (which you can find out more about here, on my other blog).

It's not easy to do this. One of the characteristics of my C-PTSD (with a comorbidity of Depression), is that I find it hard to concentrate on anything for too long. For example I used to be an avid reader, devouring books as if they were going out of fashion. Nowadays it's hard to keep me focused from the first few sentences.


I used to be an avid writer - writing about anything and everything. I even write for a living (a freelance copywriter). I wrote the above blog almost continually and at length for over six years. I wrote a couple of books. I produced a website about eating disorders. Nowadays it's rare for me to be able to write anything (apart from work writing, which has to be done to earn a crust), which is why I've had to stop (pause?) the other blog and why writing this blog is difficult - I find it slightly easier to produce vlogs on my YouTube channel.

But cycling is one of the few things where I am able to keep focused.

For one thing, if you're doing a circular bike ride, you have to keep focused so you can get back to the beginning. And once I've prised myself away from my home office / spare bedroom and out into the car with my bicycle in the back, I make myself do it.

Likewise, when I take my bike away for a week, I have a mantra that goes like this: "This is what I am here for so this is what I will do" which has resulting in me cycling on all terrains, some rain or shine.

"This is what I am here for so this is what I will do" so I won't give up.

And I know I will feel good about myself if I refuse to give up and complete the planned cycle route.

Not to mention all the endorphins that will raise my mood.

So, during a prolonged period when it's proving difficult to get out of bed let alone do a 35-mile cycle ride up and down the hills, I feel proud of myself for "just doing it".

Also, my YouTube channel helps to motivate me because I know my loyal followers will enjoy watching another cycle ride video upload. And I also know that my bike ride videos will be useful in the winter months when the weather makes cycling impossible. Unlike last winter, when C-PTSD and depression left me house- and bed-bound for much of the time leading to weight gain and loss of fitness, I can follow these cycle rides on my new indoor trainer.

So, all in all, I'm pretty proud of myself for achieving all of this.

It's not been, and it continues to not be, easy.

Check out my YouTube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSLFzdkDbmLEt-qTLhospECvruSiz4Fjn